Recollection Chapter I

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In my previous life, my family was well-to-do. I was the only daughter of the director of a major hospital.  Both my mom and dad were doctor-samas, so they were always busy. When I grew up and became aware of things around me, my parents were technically non-existent at home, and a maid-san would always be at the house between 14:00 and 17:00 to cook and handle the chores before returning home.

I would always have spare time and would mainly pass time by reading books.

Before long, I could sense that both my dad and mom made extramarital lovers outside. For kids, just by observing their parents, they can perceive such things as they are very sensitive to their parents’ emotions and behaviour.

And then, dad and mom narrowly managed to hold on to their marriage, though I recognised that their main reason for doing so was because I existed. Therefore, I thought that I had to work extra hard to maintain our amiable family of three.

With this as motivation, I worked hard on all kinds of things, and pushed myself to the fullest. Be it studies, sports or the arts.

I would always aim to reach the top in my studies. From sports such as table tennis, tennis, track and field to the martial arts like kendo and archery, I participated in an extensive number of tournaments, and polished myself until I attained victory at a decently large tournament.

I went back and forth from the classroom to attend lessons in the aesthetics, such as painting, playing the piano and playing the violin. Similarly, I also made sure to continue until I won prizes at contests in any of the disciplines.

Immediately after I obtained the trophy or prize, I would let my parents take a look at it, and would always be waiting for their reactions.

Both my dad and mom would praise me. I was happy.

However, there was nothing else apart from their praises. It’s not like there was an increase in family time. It’s not like dad and mom cut off contact from their extramarital partners. It was frustrating.

I thought I hadn’t put in enough effort.

And then, I ran out of things to impress my parents with and the 17 years old me was in a fluster. No matter what kind of excellent grades I bring, back home, even if I became the very best, my parents didn’t come home. As I became an adult, I had the feeling that my ability to keep my parents’ marriage was growing weaker. Being unable to express this to them, I was in a tormented state of anxiety.

It was at that point of time. I went home from school, using the same old route I always do. The usual pedestrian crossing’s traffic light had turned green. From where I was, I could hear the loud noise of a car’s engine from a distance,  suggesting that its momentum was way too much to stop in time.

However, I don’t know if I was impatient or something, somehow, I had the impression that I I didn’t hear it, and simply crossed the pedestrian crossing.

The next moment, I was knocked over and I died.

I’m pretty sure I died, but I did not have to savour the taste of the afterlife and instead, reincarnated to this world. I was surprised at the fact that my memories were still intact, though I am sure the Kami-sama must have rewarded me with this since I worked so hard in the past.

I was given another chance. This time, I would be loved by my parents. I really wanted to feel the kind of selfless love that parents give their children. In my previous life, I gave up friends and lovers alike so that I can devote myself to the family. I had no real hobbies. Now, I can have a fresh start. After I am loved by my parents, my world would surely feel expanded.

To me, parents represent the very essence of my world. This hasn’t changed even if I am in a parallel world.  For this ‘world’, I would persevere. To do so, I wouldn’t hesitate to expend all my strength.

Nevertheless, the reincarnated me still wasn’t loved. I was an existence traded away for 3 silver coins. I have never seen anything beyond iron coins, so I have no idea how much silver coins are worth but, I suppose what I have achieved so far is still lighter than the value of 3 silver coins.

Love can be bought for 3 silver coins. Oh, I could be wrong, maybe I wasn’t loved in the first place. My parents belonged to the house of laissez-faire and  do not concern themselves with their children at all. The same treatment was given to my other brothers, so I didn’t pay attention to it……

It can’t be helped since we are poor? Well, ever since I was born, in order to ensure nobody would complain about the poverty, I worked to exhaustion and our lives should have been improved. Such were my foolish parents. Compared to 3 silver coins, by keeping me, there was no mistake that they would be able to enjoy permanent improved living. Despite this.

Or perhaps, could it be that my efforts weren’t sufficient? Should I have had advanced the development of the village at a faster rate? Wait, on the contrary, it could be that I had accelerated the development too much, and because I was rated too highly, there were people willing to fork out 3 silver coins for me?

Had I been a mage, this kind of thing probably wouldn’t have happened either. At that time, if I had pretended to see what the mages wanted me to see, I wonder what would have happened ……

Let’s stop the speculations. No matter how many 「if」 I come up with, it is futile.

I would be alone from now on, and just like mud, I would live until I die.

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I opened my eyes while in the swaying coach.

While I was lost in thought, I seemed to have taken a small nap. Light was seeping through from the gaps in the coach. It could already be noon time.

I am hungry. To be hungry at this juncture, I must be quite a cheeky fella.

I felt like I couldn’t carry on living after abandoned by my parents but, I wonder if I could lead another kind of splendid life.



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3 comments

  1. Wow.... To have no one comment on this one... I honestly had to console myself with a chocolate in order to continue reading. Really... Albeit not too heavy, I still find it unpleasant

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  2. this was so depressing T_T I feel so bad for her.... still can't believe her parents sold her... Thank you so much for the chapter!

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