From a very young age, she was at the mercy of her good-for-nothing family, and her life was ruined by the convenience and desires of complete strangers. Thinking about it, he might have resembled herself, who was forced into slavery by her alcoholic father and her mother who ran away alone.
As soon as she felt that, everything changed.
"It's fine......"
As she said this, she cradled his head cautiously, which was buried in her chest.
"I will not betray you, master. I will not reject you. I will accept your everything......"
She said in a halting voice, combing his golden hair with her fingers.
She couldn’t help but love the weight on her, the body heat of the other person who she should be uncomfortable with, the person who caused her pain.
The pain, the hurt, and the abuse were nothing if she thought of it as an outburst of this man's heartache.
What was her mental state like to be feeling like that?
Pity or compassion? Did she mistake submission for acceptance? Was it a misunderstanding of the tension and agitation caused by aggression as a fluttering of her heart? Or was it a false goodwill that arose from a desire to curry favour with the other in order to prevent further violence? Or was it the perverse satisfaction of being ardently desired by another, even if she was only used as an outlet?
She didn't understand the logic behind it. She was uneducated, young, and in the first place, it was a concept that did not belong in this world.
She just believed that the emotion that arose the moment he clung to her was called love. That's all.
—The man looked up with a dazed expression on his face and started moving again. On the way, he suddenly hit her, cursed at her, cried, and then spoiled her. He also called his mother in a voice that sounded like he was turning into a child. She took it all in, just as she had vowed earlier.
At the end of the day, they both gained their satisfaction.
When it was over, he changed his behaviour and became arrogant. Her master was a noble man. It would have been an unbearable humiliation for him to bury his face in his slave's chest and reveal his true feelings. No matter how strong he was, there was no way he could behave like an ordinary person. He should have been in internal turmoil. It was as if he had completely forgotten what he had just done.
No, in fact, he had probably forgotten about it. It was clear from his wild behavior that he had lost control of his mind due to his overly intense emotions. It was also possible that he forgot himself in the heat of the moment, and thus did not remember the act.
When she recognised this, she felt a tingling current run down her spine.
The only person who knows exactly what has just happened here...... was herself. It was a secret that nobody else in the house, not even he himself, knows about. His secret was her own now.
As she brought her lips together, she tasted something sweet.
Since then, she had been summoned by him at every opportunity and was forced to deal with him on a daily basis. He didn't lose his mind as much as he had at first, but he still cried out to her in a childish tone from time to time. When she scratched his head and gently caressed him, her heart was filled with an inexplicable sense of satisfaction. She could endure anything for that pleasure. She could endure anything, no matter how her master treated her, no matter if she was bullied by another maid or forced to do hard and dirty work. In fact, the moment she decided to love him, it had quickly transformed from satisfaction, to some kind of a spice.
She was happy. She believed that she was happy, even though she was oppressed and despised by others. And she loved him, the man who gave her happiness, with all her heart. His clumsiness and fragility, his hands that didn’t want to let go. All she wanted was to continue receiving such affection.
But now, her desire could not be fulfilled. He was not at his mansion in the capital, but at his estate far away from here. It was the duty of a noble to govern his own domain. Even she, a slave, understood that much.
Still, the loneliness of being separated from the one she loved was unbearable. The coldness of being separated from human skin reminded her of winter in the height of summer. The skin all over her body was pining for his heated intensity that came with pain.
There was another thing that made her gloomy.
The woman who suddenly appeared in this mansion last year. The woman who occupied the position of his wife, out of nowhere, was accompanying him. For her, there was nobody she hated more than that woman. It was annoying just to have her standing next to the man she loved, but she also didn't like his personality. She was an insensitive and unreasonable woman who argued with others. She used her education and dignity to point out the flaws in others shamelessly. Naturally, she did not get along with him, and it was an open secret in the mansion that they argued every day. On the other hand, she was said to be in close communication with the second son, who annoyed her master. At this point, she could only imagine that she had malice towards this second son.
Since their marriage, he has been losing his temper more and more frequently, even during secret meetings. It was obvious to her that his relationship with his wife was causing him further heartache. She was a self-centered woman who hurt her spouse, and yet always seemed to make it like it was the other person’s fault. It seemed only natural that she would be exhausting to be around. It was as if she was a combination of all the bad aspects of her parents.
"That woman..."
A whisper escaped her lips.
"—That woman is not fit to be with master......"
It was a murmur mixed with vileness and passion.
"Ah."
After she said it, she realised. She didn't mean to speak to herself like that. It would have been the height of irreverence to complain about the Countess, even though she was only just a slave. If by any chance somebody overheard her, at best she would be tipped off and sent away. In the worst case, she could be killed. Fortunately, the gossipy maids had accompanied her master to his estate, though there were some maids remaining who did not think favourably of her.
She hoped those people didn’t hear her…...
That fear was only half realised.
"Hmph, ......jealousy huh. Not a very pleasant emotion to behold."
Suddenly, a sly, snorting laugh echoed in the room. She froze involuntarily at the sound of the voice.
"!?"
She had been heard. Somebody heard her. The words that would control her fate were heard by somebody.
Her face contorted in despair, but then she realised something else.
(What......? That voice, it's coming from inside the room.)
Currently, the slave quarters in the mansion were rarely used, and this room was like her own private quarters. So when she wasn't doing her duties, she was able to get lost in her recollections alone while hugging her knees.
Why was there somebody else’s voice all of a sudden?
She was confused, but the voice continued.
"Don't be so frightened. I'm here to help you."
In the darkness of the windowless room with the door closed, a faint human-like shadow floated. It was vague and hard to see, but there was definitely somebody in front of her. There was no sign that somebody had passed through the entrance. So, could it be that someone had heard her muttering and somehow managed to enter the room without opening the door?
She shuddered in horror, as she wondered if it was a ghost. No, the person might really be a ghost.
However, there was something that shook her more strongly than fear.
"You will help me…...?"
This somebody said she would aid her. For what purpose would they help a slave who had no position, no wealth, no power, no superior ability, and was merely an outlet for her owner's frustration and desire?
A mysterious being who suddenly appeared in front of helpless people and offered their kindness.
It was as if…...
"Are you a demon?"
A monster that seduced and corrupted people, forcing them to sacrifice their flesh, blood and souls, as they were often depicted in fairy tales. She was reminded of such a being.
Then the being that appeared in front of her let out a giggle.
"Well, well. That's quite a way to talk to somebody with good intentions. I'm not the kind who would make petty contracts."
As she said, the owner of the voice raised her hand to the level of her face. It was hard to make out in the darkness, but it was as if she was removing something near her eye.
"Hm, I did try calling out. But there’s no special meaning in doing so...... I will cooperate with you regardless of your intentions, because I will only serve my purpose by doing so."
Immediately, an ominous glow lit up the air.
It was coming from exactly where the shadowy person's left eye was.
Purple light.
(So she isn’t…...a demon)
She thought to herself in her fading consciousness.
A monster with glowing eyes that appeared from the darkness and teased humans. How could such a thing not be a demon?
But what she saw was worse than what she had heard from fairy tales. After all, she was going to act as the monster pleased without a mutual contract.
Thanks for the chapter.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chapter. Wondering what would be her use?
ReplyDeleteBoth women are just victim of circumstances forced upon them, and yet they hate each other because of the one man they are bound to.
ReplyDeleteThere is tragic comedy there