"Besides, we would first need to take care of your marriage ceremony. It's right after we return from this territorial inspection, right?"
Sensing that the tides were against me, I tried to change the subject.
My brother's wedding was scheduled to be held when summer ended and autumn arrived.
"Yeah, I guess."
My brother gave me an embarrassed smile.
"The territory is prosperous. And Simone’s formal entrance into our family. Our family has been through a lot, but finally..."
Inspired by his deeply moving words, I couldn't help but think of all the things that had happened.
The sudden death of father, who ruined his health while living in luxury. A quick trip back from studying abroad. Dropping out of school to join brother in quelling internal disputes. After that, he continued to use his skill in internal affairs and ploys to get things done. And then, just when I thought we could take a break, brother, for whatever reason, fell in love with a woman connected to the centralist faction. ......Never mind, let’s not talk about that. It wasn’t Simone's fault. It's the fault of brother, who was usually a serious person, but doing as he pleased at a critical time.
"Yeah, a lot has really happened. A lot."
"......Oi, Tullius. Are you trying to say something about me?"
"Hehe, it's just your imagination, just your imagination."
Yes, it's just his imagination. It’s not like Tullius was revealing a crooked smile nor was there any hidden exhaustion on his face. If he indeed appeared like that, it must be because Tullius was thinking about that person, surely.
As the heartwarming conversation continued,
"Alright, alright, save your breaths for later. It's not too late to continue after we enter and rest in our room."
"......Okay."
"......Okay."
We both ended up being scolded by Simone.
We were so tight-knit, really.
It became nighttime.
"......Ugh, I've had too much to drink......"
I opened the window of my room to let in the cool air, and leaned against the frame, while relaxing my entire body.
A welcome party was held by the vassals who took care of the territory in the absence of their lord. I drank too much of the famous red wine of Volden.
I am weak to alcohol, but I was made to drink nonetheless. Regardless of which world it was, it appears that there are people who refuse to start a conversation without first having a drink. Why is this so? I wish the world was kinder to those who couldn’t hold their liquor.
"Heh. You look completely out of it, Tullius."
As I lamented at the injustice of the world, my brother called out to me with an amused look. How could he be like this when his brother is pale and suffering.
"Are you sure, brother? Shouldn’t you stay with Miss Simone?"
I took a dig at him to counter, and he frowned.
"Don't be silly. Even though we've pledged our futures to each other, we're still unmarried. It is unthinkable for us to meet this late at night."
"Oh, I see......"
My face stiffened.
Man, he’s so strict. I guess he thinks that premarital sex is sinful, as would an upright religious person. However, they were both over 20 years old. Surely whatever they do would be tolerated. I wonder if Miss Simone feels like a fish that failed to eat the bait and yet, was caught.
Well, phrasing it like that might be too crude.
…...We were both silent.
Us two brothers stood side by side, admiring the scenery outside.
The meadows of Volden were illuminated by the fading moonlight. The scenery of the summer grasses rippling in the night breeze caressing the plateau made the viewer's heart feel neither tranquility nor desolation. Just emptiness.
Suddenly, my brother opened his mouth again.
"Hey."
"What is it?"
He looked away once before continuing.
"—When I think about it, I’ve been giving you a hard time."
"I could say the same."
I said in a jest with the intention of reducing the seriousness in his look.
However, it was not all a joke. I am sure that my presence had been a burden to my brother Linus Strein Oubeniel.
Our father was a foolish person, who wanted a superior child to enhance our family name while ignoring everything else and indulging in luxury. What he got in exchange for his wife's death was this me, a reincarnation of a person from another world.
My father had unusually high expectations of me, because as a child, I had acted differently since I had my memories and experiences from my previous life. At one point, he even wished for me to become the next head of the family, over my brother who had received a strict education from an early age. It must have been a burden for my brother.
"If that's true, you're the one who should have been in this position......"
You see, my father's cold treatment and me as a special being still casted a shadow in his mind.
I couldn't resist the urge to sigh as he shared his woes with me.
"Hah...... I've told you many times that we should stop talking about it. First of all, I can't be the head of the family. I'm a person lacking in empathy. Do you think such a person would have the spirit to take on the royal court and the various lords and their vassals?"
"And what you would always say is ‘brother is better suited for it’, huh?"
My brother looked distantly at me as though he didn’t accept such a reasoning, but that was in fact, what I had always thought.
I wouldn’t be able to manage villages and cities while in the royal capital hundreds of kilometers away. The same goes for socialising with nobles from other families. There was no way I could endure half an hour, much less hours of a noble’s rhetorics.
What was required of those who stood above others was neither the knowledge from my past life nor alchemy. The answer was more straightforward and simple. A sense of responsibility, patience, and a little bit of tolerance. That was all that was necessary, and I lack such qualities. That's why the current situation, with my brother standing at the top and me lending a little wisdom from below, was not the wrong decision.
Brother shook his head in a pained expression.
"Even so, because of my powerlessness, your dream…..."
He was probably referring to the time when I had to drop out of the magic academy after father's sudden death. The study of alchemy and my quest for immortality. That's what I've been pursuing ever since I was born — No, ever since I was reborn. He must be regretting that his brother’s dream had to be disrupted midway because I had to lend him a hand.
But that doesn't matter now.
"I don't mind at all. That was something I knew was coming anyway."
My voice, shivering in the cool summer night air, was dry.
The realisation of immortality through alchemy. This ridiculous ambition of mine was like a mirage that gets further away the closer I get. Learning from the wisdom of my predecessors, and with my own unique take as a newcomer, I had tried different innovative approaches but still could not find any hints to get closer. Whether I was spending all my time experimenting in the basement or studying under a professor at the academy, I could only sigh at how far off to the end goal I was.
To put it bluntly, I was tired. I'm tired of being ridiculed and despised by people, and I'm tired of achieving eternity.
"No matter what happens, I don't want to die. I'm going to reach immortality — I’ve been preoccupied with such foolish thoughts."
Those who are alive would eventually die. That was the unchanging law of nature even if the world was different. I was not as arrogant as to stay confident that I could overturn it just because I was able to be reborn by chance.
No, not because I lacked arrogance, but because I lacked strength.
No matter how many times I tried to break through, the wall kept getting thicker and sturdier, and I was the one who broke first.
"Tullius......"
The voice of my brother was weak.
Please don't look so sad. I'm sure I've gone back to the orthodox track.
And that's all thanks to my brother.
......It's been twelve years now. My father told me to buy my first slave, and I used it as a test subject for my alchemy experiment. Of course, my father soon found out that I had done such a thing. Naturally, father became furious. In the face of my father's anger, which I could not tell if it was because he was angry or drunk, I used to reply with my impudent arguments.
“You don't have to be so angry. According to the laws of this country, slaves are not people, but objects, right?”
