Happy reading.
-yAmi
｢Hey, Ryou, when Otou-sama comes home, is it true that you would have to go somewhere else?｣Alan absentmindedly popped his question at me while I was fiddling with the handles of the pump well to draw water.
As soon as the lesson with the home tutor ended, we went together in our usual 3-people group to fetch water for Irene-san’s bath.
Alan’s line of sight was directed towards the bucket placed on the ground. He wore a stiff expression with dazed eyes.
This morning, during breakfast, when he heard from Irene-san that father was coming back home, he was, of course, trying his best to calm himself down. His face, however, betrayed him and it was obvious he couldn’t put a hold on his delight because of the good news. Despite so, he was feeling slightly down now.
｢Yes. There have been arrangements made for me to be taken care of by Claude-sama.｣
｢Why is that. Wouldn’t it be great if you continued to stay with us here?｣
｢Alan, don’t put Ryou on the spot.｣
Right on the dot when Alan was about to unleash his temper (which has been on hiatus), Cain-bouchama followed up with some positive feelings. As though he was reining in a wild horse, he gently stroked his back. It felt like he was saying “Whoa! Whoa!” to a horse.
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｢Alan-bouchama, these circumstances are made by the adults, hence, there is nothing I can do about it. Even so, Alan-sama, to have made such an expression, are you that lonely without your boss around?｣ Without a moment’s delay, I laughed *fufu* and agitated Alan.
If he had any slight bit of his ordinary defiant attitude, the shitty brat Alan would have spontaneously recovered his anger.
If he was still a shitty brat that is—
｢…… Yeah, I’ll be lonely. Wasn’t that obvious! Won’t Ryou be lonely too!｣
He said so while gazing at me with eyes of strong will.
Ever since time with Irene-san, his mother, had increased, Alan had rapidly grown to become more frank. There were some remnants of obstinacy left behind in him but right now, he can no longer be described as an Amanojyaku and can properly express his own feelings.
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｢I ……｣
Somehow I was at a loss for words. Of course, I would feel lonely. But whatever I say, nothing would change – I was overwhelmed by this feeling. What an emotionless human I must be.
I could appeal on my loneliness at this point of time, that 『Of course I would feel lonely –. So lonely that I might die –insert mr.rabbit emoticon–』, but I feel that my unfeelingness would be exposed since the Alan of now would able see through my half-baked lies.
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And as for me, I really didn’t grow at all. What is this one-sided growth of Alan? In spite of him seriously being a shitty brat just a year ago.
Alan-chan, you have really grown up— I am glad – was what I thought but, I felt like I have been left behind.
Right now, I might even be unqualified to be his boss. Furthermore, Alan is no longer like before, he has become difficult to handle. He has become more honest and many times I find myself in a loss as to how to reply to him.
｢Alan…… The place where Ryou is going to is Claude-ojisan’s place. It is not that we would no longer be able to meet Ryou at all and when Alan becomes ten, we would go to school together. And then, we would be able to see one another every day.｣
Cain-bouchama couldn’t just watch and do nothing about me being at a loss at words, so he followed up with that. Once again, he consoled Alan by stroking his back, and threw an ambiguous smile at me.
Thank you, Cain-bouchama. For following up when Alan was going to rage and when I couldn’t find the words to say. What a spectacular followist he is.
｢That’s true, Alan-sama. Certainly I share the same loneliness as you but, we would see one another again, so it will be alright.｣
In order to not make any eye contact, I carried the bucket that had long been filled up and walked out.
Similarly, the two of them followed behind while carrying buckets of water.
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At first I was like – how can I let the young masters do this, but since I didn’t tell them to do it for me, they were doing it as they pleased and that Alan was my henchman, I gratefully accepted their help.
For one child alone, the job of transporting buckets of water and filling the bathtub was considerably labourious. Hence them joining in was extremely helpful.
As I started to transport water, Alan didn’t start questioning me like before. “Tch, lots of water has spilled!” Or “holding it this way is more stable!” Or he would proudly talk about the discoveries he made while appearing to be enjoying himself.
｢Thank you for the help today. It was very helpful.｣ I gave my thanks while wiping off the beads of sweat on my forehead. They too were perspiring.
The young masters did not enter a bathtub how Irene-san always do. They stood in a simple open-air showering area, wiped their bodies with a wet cloth and rubbed their hair with a herb powder that cleanses off dirt. It must be because they are boys.
Their assistant for bathing was a male servant, so I was just about to call for that person when Alan pulled back my arm.
｢Er—, Ryou, I still think you should not go.｣
Naturally he wasn’t just referring to “going to prepare for bath”, when he said ｢should not go｣. It was likely about continuing the talk we left off at the well.
｢Alan-sama, I do not have a say in that matter and it would only just be a short period of time.｣I said softly, while looking downwards.
When I told him that there was really nothing that could be done about the situation, I felt that there was something that actually could be done, yet, I didn’t think that I wanted to go that far no matter what.
｢I heard from mother. That you accepted to go to Claude-ojisama’s place. But for me, I don’t want that. I want to continue drawing water and having lessons with Ryou and Oni-sama. Even though you would only be leaving temporarily, even if it was just for a short while, I don’t want it.｣
Looking straight into Alan’s eyes hurts. They were glittering with hope.
To think that a child’s honest feelings was such a terrifying thing……
I stayed silent towards Alan’s question as per usual and he continued on with the conversation.
｢When the other servants see me, they get scared of me, and pay pointless respects to me……all they see in me is that I am a mage. But Ryou, you are different. Even today, you didn’t request me to help with my magic despite having needed to do this tiresome work of drawing water. You view me as an individual without my magic. You attend to me and Ani-sama as though we are like any other average pair of brothers. The only person that could do that is Ryou. ……Ryou, what do you think?｣
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Please don’t stare at me with those sparkling eyes. My replacement could be found anywhere else I suppose. The only difference about me is that I am insensitive to all these otherworldly magic things.
Alan might have wanted me to say ｢I want to stay. Being together is fun.｣or something of the sort. If it was the Alan of these days who has been surprisingly perceptive about others, since this was a decision by the adults, he should be able to understand that there is no changing about the fact that I have to leave for a period of time.
I think, even despite knowing so, he continuously urged me for a reply so that he could confirm that we shared the same feelings about it.
｢I am not the only one that is like that. I’m sure if you search long enough, there will be more of such people out there. Even if others think of you in terms of your ability to use magic, there is no need fear because you are who you are – Alan-sama. And for now, to allow you to prepare for your bath, would it be acceptable for me to excuse myself?｣
I had accidently refused him a little too bluntly. Alan brows knitted, face reddened and eyes became moist.
I couldn’t make the reply that he was likely seeking.
Alan violently shook off his hand that was grabbing my arm, and shouted ｢I’m off to wash my face!｣ before running off somewhere.
As I was watching the Alan leave, I thought that under normal circumstances, Cain-bouchama would be chasing after him but, instead, I felt that he was coming closer to me.
｢Ryou, sorry for Alan’s selfishness. It must have troubling for you.｣
｢No, no problems about it. More importantly, is it alright for Cain-sama to not be chasing after Alan?｣
｢I’m sure you are having it harsher than he is.｣said Cain-bouchama as he hugged me and with his hand around me, he tapped on my back.
My heart that was on the edge managed to regain its calm. Alan had always been protected by this hand, I’m so jealous.
｢I’m sorry. In truth, I would have had to stop Alan but I had the same feelings with him about this so I couldn’t muster the strength to stop him.｣ Once again, he expressed his apologies and patted on my back.
I am seriously so jealous of Alan now. He has such a kind brother by his side, his mom is also around and his dad was coming home too.
Honestly, looking at how Alan has all the things I ever wanted in his hands, all I can do is be jealous over him and jealous over him.
I was relieved that I could go to Claude-san’s company.
That is because I wanted to leave the residence before I become unseemly mad with jealousy on Alan and start hating him.
Interesting... So if I understand correctly this girl has built up some very high walls when it comes to intimate connections, romantic or otherwise. At this point she is acting the part, but doesn't genuinely 'feel' it. Makes sense considering the emotional trauma she has faced in not one, but 2 lives when its comes to familial betrayal and dysfunction.
ReplyDeleteInstead she retains a petty jealousy (which she recognizes as petty) of those who have more fortunate situations. Hopefully that doesn't become hatred...I doubt it will considering this is an mc and not a villain.