Maid Arc ⑤ -Something like a duel-


「Stop pretending to be strong! With that foul appearance of yours, don’t even think about entering this room! Where’s your common sense!」

These are the very words by the fella that caused me to be dripping wet.

And I was at my cleanest moment of my life just a few seconds ago too.

「Rest assured, bouchama. When I entered the room, I was clean so your point on my lack of common sense do not apply」I said it in a clear-cut manner.

「What’s with your choice of difficult language…… Don’t get too cocky with your dumbass face! Because I am more superior! Because I’m a mage!」

Calling me a dumbass face…… this brat! My plain-looking face is temporary since there is no doubt I would grow to become a fabulous woman. Furthermore, whatever he said earlier doesn’t contribute to the argument! This brat.

「I am very aware of that, bouchama. Speaking of which, isn’t the room dirty now? Shall we have it cleaned? If that’s the case, would you kindly step out of the room so that I can have whoever’s in charge of cleaning to handle this? The weather is fine and it is a good day to be outside too」

「Shut up, dumbass! I don’t take instructions from you!」

Again, this brat called me a dumbass.

Are kids always so irritating…… Wait a second, aren’t  I a kid too?

There is a saying that “Even a Buddha will get angry after you touch it three times.”  I shall magnanimously forgive this child’s words.

「Alan, why do you always snap at the new servants?  In addition, I forbid you to receive anyone’s help in cleaning up your mess.」

Earlier, Cain had been nervous but he seemed to have regained his composure and admonished his brother.

Umu, this 8 years old is well brought-up. Praise-worthy.

「Cain-anisama! But it’s all because she is being audacious!」

「Listen, apologise now and clean the room!」

「…… got it, Cain-anisama」

Somehow it seems that this shitty brat Alan is not going to disobey his brother even though he honestly cannot accept it.

Oh my, I’m going to be apologised to.  If that’s the case, I wouldn’t be a demon about it. I would willingly forgive you for calling be a dumbass.

「However, I ain’t gonna say sorry! I’ll just clean the room!」

His not apologising! Rip my expectations. Anyways, isn’t a room completed soiled by muddy water too much to handle for a 5 years old alone?

Nevertheless, my concerns were unnecessary.

As the shitty brat Alan placed his hands on the floor, and muttered an incantation, the muddy water that spilled all over the floor vanished gradually.

Oh right, this shitty brat is a mage.

I’m guessing that the muddy water appeared in the first place because of his magic.

This is too convenient. Even the vacuum cleaner wouldn’t be a match for that kind of absorption magic. All households should have at least one mage.

Still, the shitty brat Alan, are you aware that you’ve overlooked something?

「Alan-sama, I am currently soaking wet. Could I be cleaned as well?」I tried my darndest in smiling. The biggest smile a 5 years old could give.

「Ha! Your current appearance is befitting for a dumbass face like you」


「W-what is this! That rebellious stare! You dare to go against me!」

Oops, that was too much bloodlust. I was nearly about to get all worked up by this lil’ kiddy companion of mine. Be cool, be cool.

I was just about to stare this brat to death.

「Alan! That’s a pathetic appearance you’re putting on. Isn’t this girl around the same age as you are?」

Oh dear, as expected of Cain-bouchama, impressive! Feminist! 8-year-old ikemen!

「This…… There is no need to apologise to a dumbass servant sent over by Otou-sama or Okaa-sama!」

Said Alan as he was on verge of tears. Hey, the one that should be crying is me, I’m still drenched here ya know.


Cain-bouchama put his arm across Alan’s shoulders, while calling his name in an effort to comfort him.

Is this suppose to be some drama? And I have been abandoned at the sidelines even though I’m the victim here.

Someone, please notice me, if I’m left in this condition, I’ll catch a cold.

「This is a strong brotherly relationship」I said, trying to express my impressions on the drama.

「STFU, fking servant! I’ll be sure to fire you! Get the hell out now!」

Oh man, his really pissed.  Even though I have been trying to ignore what this cocky brat is saying, damn, I’m really annoyed. Could this be menopause? Even my puberty hasn’t even started.

「Maa, Alan-sama, that’s some preposterous thing you have just said. The person to decide whether I get to stay is the Oku-sama. I don’t think Alan-sama has that kind of authority.」

The super annoyed me, moved my hands over to my mouth, with my little pinky sticking out,  as I laughed, “Ohohoho”.

I could picture myself being the evil mother-in-law in those afternoon soap dramas.

Eh, what, he was staring straight at me while his face turned red. Puppy love? I’m such a sinner.

「You! Why are you being so cheeky! Let’s have a match! A duel!  I’ll make sure to beat you till you’re blue and black all over and willingly say you give up! 」

Looks like I was mistaken, his face turned red because of anger. What a short-tempered shitty brat.

「Alan! She’s a girl!」

Cain-bouchama frantically tried to stop Alan, but somehow it seems that he wasn’t able to stop his younger brother that has lost control of himself.

Cain-bouchama, who was lost for words,  said something along the lines of 「You are too conceited」 earlier but was swiftly dismissed. Cain-bouchama gazed at me sympathetically.

I mean, him saying he wants a duel, even though his only 5 years old!

Perhaps he is referring to card games? Is it the kind where you’ll say duel standby?

「As long your bum hits the ground, it would mean defeat. You understand? If you lose to me, you will scram and quit being a maid! You got it?」

「When you said duel, you mean a real all-out brawl?」

Would there not be any duel standby?

「Duh, a no rules battle. Of course, magic is permitted. That is if you can use it」

The shitty brat broadened his grin and laughed.

I see, his so full of himself because he has confidence in his magic.

「Incidentally, if I won, what would I gain?」

「Hmph! There is no way you can win but, if that happens I would be your fellow henchman or whatever」

I didn’t ask for a henchman with such a terrible character though.

「The field for our duel would be here, this very room, is that acceptable?」

「Sure. Going all the way out would be troublesome anyways」

「By the way, when you were casting your magic earlier, Alan-sama, you had to say some language but if unable to say the incantation, I suppose the magic would not activate?」

「You don’t say.」

The shitty brat Alan replied as though it was so obvious.

「Is that so? I was merely curious at how you were able to remember such long lines at such a young age. Well then, I shall obey respectfully. I accept the duel.」

「Good! Cain-anisama, please give the start signal」

Cain-bouchama said 「I know」 with a glum expression and became the referee for our duel.

And as for me, am I really fine? That was the kind of gaze he directed at me while he prayed that I do not get injured. He did say that If I gave up in the midst of the fight, attacks would be stopped immediately and that I can rest assured on that.

It must be tough on the elder brother with such a difficult kid brother.


The signal to start reverberated in the room.

At that very same moment, I dashed towards where the shitty brat was.

Although I said dash, for a 5-year-old kid’s leg strength, it was more like tottering. At any rate, the distance between us was roughly 4m.

I closed the gap with the shitty brat that was muttering his incantations. As I ran forth, I undid the knot on my soaked apron and aimed it at Alan’s face.

The shitty brat that was in the middle of chanting, started to go out of breath and made puffing noises like a how a youth that swimming would make.

The moist apron successfully clung onto his face, preventing him from breathing.

Using this opportunity, I got behind him and swept his foot while pushing him on his shoulder, causing him to fall on his backside.

A disappointingly easy match.

To have had a duel in this enclosed area. Furthermore magic was something he had to absolutely use. What a foolish 5 years old.

There’s bound to be weak points for things that are convenient and awesome. You have to bear in mind your own weaknesses, Shounen.

The shitty brat Alan that had his head wrapped around by my wet apron, looked up at towards me, dumbfounded.

「Well then, could this henchman Alan-sama, this being an immediate order, clean up my clothes and hair?」

I took on an imposing stance while looking down on him, and dished out a simple command.


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Maira Gall